Old Comics, Part II
When I got into junior high, I started another comic called Hoops. “Oh, it’s a basketball comic,” you may say. It is not. It has little to do with basketball. It is called Hoops because the main character has a basketball for a head. Since his body is a stick figure, the only way I figured to differentiate my characters was to assign them different objects as their heads.
I am such a genius. I am, like, a super genius. This is comedy gold here. Charles Schulz and Bill Watterson ain’t got nothing on me!
I would have such illusions of grandeur as a child. And as a teenager. In fact, I still hold onto those illusions of becoming famous. I’m a little more down to earth, but there are days where I’m like “Yeah! I’m going to be the best comic book artist ever! My name will go down in history books! I’ll have all sorts of merchandise and live in a mansion!” Seriously, I considered making my own Hoops video game.
I did actually try to submit a bunch of these strips to my local newspaper when I was about 13. Honest to God, I made several photocopies of these notebook funnies and submitted them to the paper. I think my parents were kind of like “Well, sweetie, the paper…uh, they only accept the bigger comics like Garfield and Peanuts. Nothing really local.” Looking back, that might of been a way of saying “Your drawings suck, and you really shouldn’t submit these to anything.”
Surprisingly, the editor did reply back to my submission, even though he had every right not to. I no longer have the letter he sent me (it may have been an e-mail so he didn’t have to waste the paper), but if I remember he wasn’t mean about it. I don’t know, I was blissfully happy in my own world of comics while the world of junior high was beating the hell out of me.
Ho, ho, I am funny! Look how funny I am. This is one of the earlier ones, before I started doing things professionally with a black Papermate pen. I was very particular about that black pen. Nothing else would work. I had to use that particular cheap ballpoint pen.
Before I quit Hoops (or at least this phase of Hoops), I decided to ramp it up a little and draw clothes on them. Man, was that difficult. I mean, I can’t put different kinds of inanimate objects on the heads of clothing. So the clothing just ended up looking the same. If you’ll look at the second line from the bottom at those characters all in black, they are supposed to be different characters. Those are not different versions of the same character, they are each different. Their names are Al, Cal, and Bone. And if you put them together, they sound like Al Capone. I thought that was clever mostly because I am bad with names. If I every have children, they are going to hate me years later for giving them crappy names like “Bill” or “Joe” or “Kid 1.” Maybe I’ll make hats out of basketballs and stuff, force them to wear it, and call them by their respective hat.
Another thing I should mention that you might have missed earlier is that the whole pizza and the slice of pizza are two totally different people. I do not think they are even related.
Looking back at these, there are some images that look eerily like a dick. The guy holding the skateboard is one example. Another example is the last character drawn, Joystick. Then there’s the short series about a guy after his sausage. I don’t really want to discuss this further, but I know for a fact that I wasn’t good enough to make any purposeful subtext. It’s kind of disturbing and a little messed up. Still, I think some kid has drawn a dick or a dick-like thing sometime in their life.
Thing is, I have about three or four notebooks filled with these comics. I was a comics-producing machine. It was fueled mainly by some of my friends who laughed at my work. I can only think of a few people who didn’t think it was funny.
Since I have so many, I think I’m going to post a couple of these every Monday. It will be “Bad Comics Mondays” on my journal comic! See Jeff before he became decent at drawing!
There is a Part III, but that’s not going to be for a while longer. I’m getting busier and busier and oh I have so much work to do I can barely put this blog together (I find those comics really embarrassing so it’s going to take a little more effort to show them). But they will be posted eventually.