Hoops Episode IV: Revenge of the Hoops
So in lieu of an actual update, I’ve decided to make another Hoops post and make fun of my younger self.
For the uninitiated, Hoops was a comic that I drew while I was in junior high and my freshman year of high school. It is about a stupid person named Hoops with a basketball for a head who travels across America and has crazy adventures with his friends. At one point, I tried to submit it to my local newspaper, The Toledo Blade, and was rejected in the gentlest way possible, considering the material at hand. You can read previous blog posts about Hoops here, here, and here. Click on the images for a slightly larger and less distorted view.
For those of you who have read the previous Hoops posts, you’ll know that Hoops has a bizarre habit of blowing himself up. His dedication to being consumed in large explosions is almost masochistic. But instead of delving into the psyche of Hoops and revealing the madness behind its creator, let’s look at some old comics instead.
Now, you may be thinking “This guy is an asshole.” But keep in mind that the character that blew up Hoops was Bomb, the character who has a bomb for a head. Due to the combustive nature of his head and Hoops’ obsession with blowing things up, the two don’t get along.
Now that you know a little backstory about Hoops and Bomb, you’re probably thinking “This guy Bomb is an asshole.” And you’d be right. But as we’ve seen in the world of Hoops, explosions don’t seem to be that big of a deal.
My dad is like this, so maybe that’s where I got the inspiration for this strip. “Which character?” you ask? Both of them. Seriously, my dad can be incredibly cheap, but if he feels like he’s found a good deal, he’ll jump on it and spend some serious dough. I have no idea why.
I was hoping that Hoops would die in the last panel, but it seems that my younger self disappointed me. Seriously, there are several storylines where Hoops dies but comes back to life with little trouble, as if to say “Hoops can never die.” Oddly enough, this aspect of the comic has carried over to Pretty Jeff, since I just got done with a storyline about Jeff going to Hell and another storyline where Jeff dies and becomes a ghost. And before that, there was a storyline where Jeff dies in a roller coaster accident but comes back to life. Spooky.
Nothing too special here. Basically, I wrote the same punchline for these two strips – fireworks will hunt you down and blow you to pieces.
And that apparently ends the Fourth of July story arc. Huh, that was actually pretty short. Well, I guess I’ll throw in a couple other strips to lengthen the blog post.
This one is actually autobiographical; another precursor to Pretty Jeff, if you will. One time, when I was a kid, I went to the bathroom in the middle of the night, but I was too tired to make it back to bed, so I went back to sleep in the bathtub. My dad, however, had to use the bathroom, and after a half hour of waiting, started knocking on the door to either wake me up or tell me to stop hogging the bathroom.
But Hoops isn’t a cute little kid, and as a result, the strip is a little weird.
Okay, this is probably a better conclusion to the Fourth of July storyline. Hoops’ brother, Foul (get it?), comes over to beat up Hoops for…blowing up his house? I don’t remember exactly, and I definitely don’t want to go through all these comics to find out.
Also, if you’re wondering about the helmet, Foul was in the Iraq War and apparently decided to keep his helmet on while he’s home. Yeah…not sure where I was going with that character trait.
Back to the fireworks, though. Hoops decides that the best way for him to get rid of his brother, who is pounding away at the door with all kinds of sibling aggression, would be to blow up the only barrier between him and Foul.
Funnily enough, it works.
Well, that’s enough Hoops for now. I’m not sure if I’ll do another post about Hoops anytime soon, since it’s sort of difficult to maintain interest in my old, lousy comics. But until then, consider the above comic as the last Hoops comic I ever drew, with Hoops buried beneath the smoldering rubble while his brother walks off into the night, never looking back.